Wiffle Ball Recap - May 20, 2025 - Springfield Metropolitan Bar

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Wiffle Ball Recap - May 20, 2025

Tuesday, May 27, 2025

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SMBA Wiffleball May 20, 2025

Game Five - Prior and Persistents (Criminal Defense Cohort) v Ballers (Husch)

Game Six - McGlovens (Kutak) v Stare Decisis (Spencer Fane)

Game Seven - Appealables (31st Circuit Judges) Lacks Appeal (Court of Appeals)

Game Eight - Court Jesters (Carnahan) v Bad News Barristers (Neale Newman)

Game Five: Prior and Persistents (Criminal Defense Cohort) v Ballers (Husch)

Prior and Persistents win by Forfeit

Game Six: McGlovens (Kutak) v Stare Decisis (Spencer Fane)

The evening’s first official match was more exciting than courtroom drama, featuring high scores, home runs and rookies making a name for themselves. Stare Decisis was first at bat with new associate Doug Reynolds launching the very first pitch outta the park and into the parking lot. Henry Sivils followed with a triple, and Alec Martinez brought the gavel down with a home run. Stare had the McGlovens seeing stars, racking three runs against the defending champs.

The McGlovens, come-back kids from the 2024 season, retaliated with two runs, proving they hadn’t lost their championship form.

In the second inning, Sivils and Martinez padded Stare’s score with two more runs. McGloven rookie Collin Elliott responded with a solo run of his own, subtlety setting the tone for what was to come (spoiler: a lot of him).

Then came the third inning—also known as The Great Reversal. Stare, perhaps true to their name, stared blankly at the field, scoring zero. Meanwhile, the McGlovens apparently found their loophole-in-physics. James Jeffries kicked things off with a 2-RBI double, Elliott knocked in another run, and team captain Taylor White launched a towering homer adding two more. With nine runs on the board the mercy rule was in draft form but mercifully did not have to be invoked.

Stare rallied in the fourth, with Reynolds smacking a triple, followed by RBIs from Sivils, Ben Shantz, and Martinez. Teamwork made the dream work, if only briefly. In the bottom of the fourth, Taylor White took it out on the tree with another triple followed by Elliott racking up four RBIs and a home run like they were billable hours. The McGlovens added seven more runs before pitcher Shantz channeled his inner Spider-Man and ended the chaos with two acrobatic pop fly catches.

Final inning. Stare went down swinging—literally. Reynolds launched another homer (with bonus bat flip), Sivils added two runs, and Martinez chipped in one more. Four runs total. A valiant effort and a fantastic game all around.

Final Score: McGlovens 19 – Stare Decisis 14

Game MVPs: Collin Elliott and Doug Reynolds

Rumor Mill: Word on the street is that law firm recruiting now includes a mandatory wiffleball tryout. Someone call HR.

Batting order

McGlovens

Collin Elliot
Taylor White
James Jeffries

Stare Decisis

Doug Reynolds
Henry Sivils
Alec Martinez

Game Seven: Appealables (31st Circuit Judges) Lacks Appeal (Court of Appeals)

Following the high-octane madness of Game 6, Game 7 came in with the energy Monday morning's docket. The first two innings were a masterclass in... well, nothing happening. But what they lacked in runs, they made up for in style: Appealables pitcher Judge Phil Fuhrman put on a fielding clinic, while Judge Kirsten Poppen’s batting stance had all the grace of Swan Lake — minus the tutus.

The action finally showed up like a late filed brief in the third inning. Lacks Appeal captain Judge Matt Hamner cracked the game’s first RBI, followed by a 2-RBI hit from clerk Kyle Skopec. Three runs - not bad for our league's newest team.

Then came Poppen’s leadoff single for the Appealables, punctuated by what we can only describe as a happy dance. Judges Carrier and Greenwade each knocked in RBIs, shrinking the lead and boosting morale. At the end of the third: Lacks Appeal 3, Appealables 2. Game on.

Top of the 4th? Blink and you missed it — three outs faster than an overruled objection.

But the bottom of the 4th - something magical (or kombucha-infused) happened. The Appealables turned the tide like they were used to reversals. Judge Stockard bravely took a hit-by-pitch like a seasoned warrior, or the mother of a toddler. Commissioner Lukachick followed with a booming triple, and Judge Andy Hosmer set a new precedent – delivering a single RBI while holding bat in one hand and brew in the other. Carrier added a conventional albeit tidy double to the chaos... then with all eyes on the field, Greenwade joined the GRAND SLAM HOMERUN club, bringing the fans to their feet like jurors headed to lunch – only with clapping. Just like that, the Appealables were up by five, leaving Lacks Appeal scrambling for a rebuttal that never came.

Final Score: Appealables (8) Lacks Appeal (3)

MVPs: Allison Garrett, Kaiti Greenwade

Special Commendation: Alec Martinez for umpiring a game packed with judges who get PAID to have the final say. Exhausting.

Batting order

Appealables

Kirsten Poppen
Andy Hosmer
Ron Carrier
Phil Fuhrman
Kaiti Greenwade
Joshua Christensen
Derek Ankrom
Jodi Stockard
John Lukachick

Lacks Appeal

Kyle Skopec
Allison Garrett
Adam Li
Blake Shier
Mike Risberg
Matt Hamner

Game Eight Court Jesters (Carnahan) v Bad News Barristers (Neale Newman)

Game Eight kicked off late—credit (or blame) split evenly between a Barristers player stuck in traffic and a Jester found loitering in the taproom, clearly strategizing over hops rather than hits. Priorities, dudes.

The Jesters took the opening at-bat, with Nate Dunville on the mound for the Barristers. Newcomer Justin Cantwell immediately made it clear he missed no memos, cracking a double. Jay Preston drove in a run before Dunville clutched up and caught Andy Peebles’ pop fly like it owed him money. Barristers captain Lilly Sweeney entered the chat with a thunderous triple, followed by an RBI from Alden Smith – and an RBI by Sweeney.

But then... the second inning happened. The Jesters overruled the Barristers with a deluge of RBIs. Nadia Malloy, Preston, and Peebles each padded the stats sheet, setting up team captain David Olive for a 2-RBI homer – ending their at-bat with seven runs.

The second half of the second inning and the top of the third were about as exciting as a three-day deposition. Then in the bottom of the third, Smith reappeared casually slapped another run on the board. Teammate Dunville marked the inning both with a hit by pitch single and a bunt in a performance that screamed, “real men do TOO eat quiche.”

Rumor has it both teams overheard the commissioner arguing with the umpire about calling the game early due to the weather—or possibly dinner plans—and suddenly, everyone remembered how to play.

Top of the fourth: the Jesters struck back like a sequel. Olive launched a triple with Cantwell and Peebles following suit, the Jesters added six more runs to their account.

But Alden Smith wasn’t done yet. The man hit three triples in a single inning, dragging his team back into the fight one heroic dash at a time.

The Jesters cooled off in the top of the fifth - perhaps taking a moment to admire their lead. The Barristers, still clinging to hope like it was legally binding, eked out two more runs thanks (again) to Alden Smith.

Final Score: Court Jesters (13) Bad News Barristers (8)

MVPs: Lilly Sweeney and Justin Cantwell

Batting order

Court Jesters