Wiffle Brief - June 10, 2025 - Springfield Metropolitan Bar

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Wiffle Brief - June 10, 2025

Tuesday, June 17, 2025

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SMBA Wiffleball June 10, 2025

The fifth night of 2025 SMBA Wiffle Ball featured scorching heat, dazed and confused summer associates, fans wielding signs a new field locale in Mother’s Brewery Back Yard.

Game 17: Prior and Persistents v. Court Jesters

“A homer, a sawhorse injury, and three bean balls walk into a brewery…”

It was the first night on the brand-new field behind Mother’s Brewery, and Prior and Persistents and Court Jesters came ready to christen it — with hits, hustle, and some league firsts.

Top of the 1st: P&P opened strong: Musgrave opened with a hit, Jones got plunked (the first of many), and Huffman made it rain with a 2-RBI triple. Boom. 2–0.

Bottom of the 1st: Cantwell up to bat for the Jesters, HBP. Hodges and Olive lobbed solid hits but Huffman and Risley were hustling in the outfield – no runs scored.

Top of the 2nd: Here’s where it gets dramatic. Huffman tripled. Musgrave tripled. Risley RBI’d. Then Huffman launched the new field’s first homer to the deep outfield. Fireworks may or may not have gone off. P&P tacked on four more.

Bottom of the 2nd: Pause for sawhorse maintenance (yes, this is a real sentence). Then Peebles tripled. Cantwell took another pitch to the body. Preston popped one… caught. Jesters: all promise, no points.

Top of the 3rd: The Jesters were done clowning around. Jones took a base but never made it home. Commendable hits by Risley and Huffman – both shut down by Peebles No runs scored by P & P.

Bottom of the 3rd: Hodges tripled into shrubbery, Peebles and Cantwell doubled in runs. Cantwell was hit again (third time!) Four runs scored. Ladies and gentleman – we have a game

Top of the fourth Decent hits by P & P + exceptional fielding by the Jesters = no runs scored.

Bottom of the fourth: Preston triple into deep center. Olive on base and Hodges with the RBI. Preston took a hit by pitch, loading the bases, but alas, stranded. Jesters add one run to their tally, tightening the gap. P & P – 6, Jesters 5.

Final inning: Musgrave and Risley with P&P insurance runs. The Jesters pushed back with doubles, hustle and DoorDash deliveries — but couldn’t close the gap.

Final Score: Prior and Persistents 8, Court Jesters 6
MVPs: Stuart “Slugger” Huffman & Brett “Shrubbery Slammer” Hodges

Prior and Persistents

Brady Musgrave
Kristin Jones
Brian Risley
Stuart Huffman

Court Jesters

Justin Cantwell
Brett Hodges
Jay Preston
David OIive
Andy Peebles

Game 18: Vicarious Trauma v. Motion to Strike

“Five innings. Four hours. One league-mandated tape measure.”

This one had everything: scorching sun, grass-stained t-shirts, a field reconfiguration, and a rulebook reading mid-game. But also, very few runs.

Top of the First: Motion to Strike opened with a bang (and a bonk): Brian Wade smashed a line drive into the tree, only for gravity — and Adam Woody — to intervene in spectacular, Plinko-esque fashion. Jessica Johns followed up with a perfectly arched pop fly… also vacuumed up by Woody, who seemed to be everywhere and possibly wearing magnets.

Bottom of the First: Vicarious Trauma responded like any seasoned criminal defense team would. They came back swining. Ty Harden casually knocked in two RBIs, possibly while chanting Miranda rights.

Second Inning: Haskins delivered a tidy single for Motion to Strike, while Jessica Johns earned a highlight reel catch on defense — a full-body, grass-stained lunge to snatch a Russ Dempsey hit. Style points were provided. Dry cleaning was not.

Third Inning: Haskins once again fired off one of her signature “impossible-to-field” singles. Meanwhile SMBA President Matt Russell took a below the belt hit by pitch. Not Vicarious. Definitely traumatic.

Cue a Commissioner Timeout. Pitching distance too close for comfort, literally. Tape measure invoked. Batting backdrop moved. Back to play.

Top of the Fourth: Team Captain Danielle Reid fired a double impossibly under and through the sawhorse. Johns added a double and RBI, and Abby Craigmyle tacked on another. Motion granted. Tied game 2-2.

Bottom of the Fourth: Ben Stringer took a hit by pitch like the champ he is. Sadly his teammates left him hanging like a case under advisement.

Top of the Fifth: With the score locked and fans aging visibly, Johns and Dylan Dunbar took first base the hard way — by getting beaned. Reid, undeterred and probably fueled by ibuprofen, knocked a double that brought in the go-ahead run. Motion to Strike led, 3–2.

Bottom of the Fifth: Summer associate and Motion pitcher Dunbar played 4D chess and walked Stringer to open. Dempsey on base with a single despite Reid’s daring and apparently painful attempt to catch “that hurt”. Next up Woody and this catch and out by Reid. Painful poetic justice. Russell up- runners of 1st and 2nd with two outs. Mercifully, he’s out and so are we.

Final Score: Motion to Strike 3, Vicarious Trauma 2
MVPs: Ty Harden & Dylan Dunbar

Vicarious Trauma

Ty Harden
Adam Woody
Matt Russell
Ben Stringer
Russ Dempsey

Motion to Strike

Danielle Reid
Bryan Wade
Jessica Johns
Lauren Haskins
Dylan Dunbar
Abby Craigmyle

Game 19: Ballers v. Lacks Appeal

"One Fan Sign, Five Summer Associates, 18 runs and Boundless Enthusiasm"

The third game of the night was between the Husch Blackwell “Ballers” and the Southern District’s “Lacks Appeal.” Judge Hamner and the clerks of the Southern District brought the hits and a fan with a sign reading “Guilty of being the best wiffle ball team ever.” Husch brought two associates and five summer hires who were pretty confused as to why they were there.

Slow start with no runs in the first inning.

Top of the second Lacks Appeal at bat and bases loaded – Allison Garrett came through with an RBI single, then Kyle Skopec with another. Two runs scored

Bottom of the second, Baller summer associates got into the groove with Parker Westhoff (triple) Maverick Lewis (single) and Claire Carlson (triple RBI) – turning up the heat as the sun went down. Three runs scored.

Top of the third. Lacks Appeal launched a coordinated assault…on the sawhorse, first Blake Shier with a double then Judge Hamner with a single. Garrett loaded the bases with a single setting the stage for some excitement. Thwack – Skopec bats a clean-up triple 3RBI. Shier and Hamner tally RBIs and the inning ends with Garrett popping a fly capably caught by Baller Summer Associate Claire Carlson. The bottom of the third was uneventful and the inning ends with Lacks Appeal taking a decisive lead 7-3.

Top of the fourth. Some league firsts. Bases loaded and Shier at bat – scores with a bean ball RBI. Next at bat Hamner with a hit by pitch RBI. Not the most appealing way to score, but three more runs on the board and the lead becoming a canyon 10-3.

Top of the fifth: Déjà vu! Shier takes ANOTHER bean ball RBI followed by Hamner with an RBI via walk. Garrett slices a double that rolls Baller summer associate Maverick Lewis like a tumbleweed in his impressive, albeit failed, attempt to catch. Game paused to collect and refill the bucket of balls. By the time the inning ended with a Skopec pop caught by summer associate Stephen Tate, Lacks Appeal racked four more runs.

Bottom of the fifth: A Baller was overheard to ask a teammate what the score was. “We only need twelve runs to win.” Exhibiting the kind of tenacity every team needs, the Ballers never gave up. Jake Addington with a commanding triple, Stewart with a single. They added one run and walked off remarkably cheerful, slightly dazed and still confused.

Final Score – Vicarious Trauma 14, Ballers 4
MVPs: Maverick Lewis and Blake Shier

Ballers

Anna Stewart
Stephen Tate
Claire Carlson
Jake Addington
Ethan Schroeder
Parker Westhoff
Maverick Lewis

Lacks Appeal

Mike Risberg
Allison Garrett
Kyle Skopec
Hannah Jackson
Blake Shier
Matt Hamner

Game 20: DOJ Turkeys v Defenders

“Thanksgiving came early. And the Turkeys brought pies and triples.”

Another slow start with no runs scored in the first inning and a half, but Turkey Casey Clark made his first appearance of the season and he was strutting his stuffing both at bat and on the field.

Bottom of the second. Defenders at bat with notable hits by Luke Dainty (double) Scott Skocy (triple, RBI) and honorable mention to a smash by Sara Meier, deftly caught by Turkey Captain Cameron Beaver

The top of the third came on like a truck load of, well, turkeys. Clark leading off with a triple setting the stage for Beaver and a majestic three run homer over the chain link fence and out of the park. Clark followed, finding the hidden ball shrine in the vines, pausing the game for an easter-egg Esque search. Turkeys trot in three runs scored.

Bottom of the third. The Defenders did what they do best – they fought back. Blake Buchard with a single and Jeff Woods with a Triple and an RBI. Still anyone’s game. Turkeys 3, Defenders 2

4th Inning. More of the same, plus someone googled “What is a sawhorse?”

Top of the fifth. Hannah Lucas clocked a hit. Randy Eggert got robbed twice by Skocy with ESPN-worthy catches. Clark tripled again. Beaver tripled again. Blah Blah Blah, Etc. Etc.

Bottom of the fifth. Defender Darlene Villalobos hit her best ever — straight to Clark. Dainty doubled, but the comeback was not to be. Defenders, you were fun to watch. See you next season.

Final Score: DOJ Turkeys 6, Defenders 2
MVPs: Casey Clark & Luke Dainty

DOJ Turkeys