Wiffle Brief - May 20, 2026

May 20, 2026, Games 9, 10, 11 and 12

LIVE from the backyard of Mother's Brewery for Night Three of the SMBA Wiffle Ball League, coming to you on a Wednesday after Tuesday’s scheduled games were washed out. Four games on the card tonight. Conditions out here are cold, damp, and getting worse by the inning — fingers are numb, scores are lopsided, and nobody is conceding because, well, it's wiffle ball and these are lawyers. Let's get into it.

GAME NINE: Court Jesters vs. Ballers

We've got Carnahan Evans veterans — seasoned both in the courtroom and at the plate — squaring off against three very pleasant Husch Blackwell summer associates who are just happy to be here. Welcome to the SMBA, folks.

Batting Order

Court Jesters

• Brett Hodges
• Jay Preston
• David Olive

Ballers

• Stephen Tate
• Anna Stewart
• Evan Hancock

Top of the 1st

The Ballers go three-up, three-down so fast our scorer barely has the cap off her pen. Nothing doing.

Bottom of the 1st

Jesters come out swinging. Hodges gets hit by pitch — no big deal, it happens to everyone. Olive doubles. Hodges hit by pitch again. Okay. Jay Preston rips a triple, RBI, runners advancing. Olive singles. Hodges hit by pitch. Third time, absorbing pitches like a human backstop. Bases loaded. Preston responds with ANOTHER triple and another RBI. Six runs score in the bottom of the first. The Hodges HBP situation has officially become A Thing.

Top of the 2nd

Stewart doubles. Hubbard doubles. Stewart draws a walk — bases loaded, Ballers threatening! And then... nothing. Rally stalls. No runs. The Ballers leave three stranded and head back to the field shaking their heads but with smiles on their faces.

Bottom of the 2^nd

Hancock pitching for the Ballers. Hodges grounds to the pitcher — out. Preston hits to Tate, who DIVES to make the catch in a highlight-reel play. Olive doubles. Hodges hits right back to Tate and that's the inning.  Effort is applauded.

Top of the 3rd

Stewart hits to Hodges — out. Tate rips one to deep center for a triple. Hancock follows with a triple of his own and drives in a run — the Ballers are on the board! Stewart hits to Hodges to end it, but the Ballers have broken through. 6-1 Jesters.

Bottom of the 3rd

Preston drives one deep to left — and Tate tracks it down! Out number one. Olive triples. Preston gets one past Tate — finally! — triple, RBI. Olive follows with a triple RBI of his own. Two more runs for the Jesters. 8-1.

Top of the 4th

Hancock doubles. Stewart doubles. Two doubles on the board — and zero runs.

Bottom of the 4th

Preston to Tate — out. Olive singles into the sawhorse. Hodges to Tate — out. Preston to Tate — out. That is THREE outs to Tate in one half-inning. The Jesters' dugout is actively avoiding eye contact with that side of the field.

Top of the 5th

Stewart doubles. Tate hits to Hodges — out. Hancock hits to Olive, who lunges and hauls it in — and that's the ballgame!

FINAL SCORE: Court Jesters 8, Ballers 1

Brett Hodges takes three consecutive hits by pitch and never flinches. Stephen Tate puts on a defense clinic but six runs in the first inning is a very deep hole to climb out of. The Jesters run away with it.

GAME TEN: Lacks Appeal vs. Gideon's Soldiers

Judge Hamner and the clerks from the Southern District Court of Appeals take on the Public Defenders. Spoiler – Apparently the Public Defenders heard that the Southern District was into points relied on.  And. They. Delivered.

Batting Order

Gideon's Soldiers

• Nathan Beaver
• Blake Burchard
• Benjamin Burlie
• Luke Dainty
• Scott Skocy
• Sam Reed
• Cory Guinn

Lacks Appeal

• Mike Risberg
• Allison Garrett
• Winton Neal
• Adam Li
• Matt Hamner

Top of the 1st — Luke Dainty pitching

Risberg grounds out to Burlie. Neal singles — Lacks Appeal's first baserunner. Li hits back to Dainty and that's the inning. Quick and clean for the Soldiers' defense.

Bottom of the 1st — Risberg pitching

Oh my. Beaver leads off with a triple and drives in a run. Burlie gets hit by pitch and things start to get chaotic out in the outfield — we're talking full organizational breakdown. Dainty absolutely demolishes a triple that ends up buried in the overgrowth in right field. Guinn hits to Hamner for out one. Skocy smashes one right into Risberg — a pitch that prompts serious discussion about bringing in a relief pitcher. Risberg stays in. Gideon's Soldiers score five runs in the first. Buckle up.

Top of the 2nd

Nothing. Lacks Appeal goes quietly. We move on.

Bottom of the 2nd

Here we go again. Burlie triples. Dainty triples — two RBIs! Guinn hits to Hamner, out one. Skocy triples in a run. Burlie doubles in a run. Dainty doubles in a run. Guinn doubles in a run. They are just teeing off out here — hit after hit after hit. Skocy finally gets reeled in by a rolling catch from Risberg, who deserves a hand just for staying upright at this point. Six more runs. Gideon's Soldiers lead 11-0 and the inning is finally over.

Top of the 3rd

Lacks Appeal finally gets something going! Neal drills a triple into deep center. Hamner follows with a triple that gets past Skocy — RBI! They're on the board! Risberg pops to Burlie, out one. Garrett hits to Guinn, out two. One run for Lacks Appeal, and honestly the crowd — such as it is on an aggravatingly cold May night — acknowledges the effort.

Bottom of the 3rd

Beaver gets hit by pitch. Burchard singles. Burlie triples, RBI. Reed hits a high one to Hamner — out. Then Dainty pounds another one into the shrubbery for a triple — that right field vegetation has now eaten multiple balls tonight and shows no sign of giving them back. Special mention to Winton Neal for valiant catch attempt and risking exposure to poison ivy in the process. Beaver walks. Burchard triples past Hamner. Burlie walks. Reed doubles. And then — DAINTY GOES DEEP! A two-run homer! The Soldiers are absolutely rolling. Skocy triples. Beaver walks. Ten runs in the inning. The game is called. Mercifully. For everyone.

FINAL SCORE: Gideon's Soldiers 21, Lacks Appeal 1

Twenty-one runs. This one was Luke Dainty’s game with multiple triples and the home run. The public defenders put on an offensive that will be talked about for the remainder of this season. Lacks Appeal never gave up. The mercy rule exists for moments exactly like this one.

GAME ELEVEN: Pour but Legal vs. Prior and Persistent

Legal Services vs. Criminal Defense Cohort

Sixty-four degrees but damp, cloudy, and miserable outside. What is happening with this weather? Yet here we are — because the schedule yields for no one. Pour but Legal squares off against Prior and Persistent in a scrappy, well-contested game.

Batting Order

Pour but Legal

• Jill Patterson
• Clayton Ballard
• Knial Piper
• Steve Kellogg

Prior and Persistent

• Brady Musgrave
• Stacie Bilyeu
• Brian Risley
• Kristin Jones
• Stuart Huffman

Top of the 1st — Clayton Ballard pitching

Risley singles to lead off. Bilyeu then hits one to right field - directly to her law school roommate Jill Patterson. The two share a look. Patterson catches it anyway. Epic moment. Friendship tested. No runs score.

Bottom of the 1st — Stuart Huffman pitching

Patterson hits to Musgrave — out. Piper walks. Ballard doubles. Kellogg singles. Bases loaded. Patterson steps back up and hits right to Musgrave again — out. All that setup and no payoff. Pour strands three and heads back to the field scoreless.

Top of the 2nd

Huffman doubles past Patterson. Musgrave grounds to Piper — out. Jones singles. Risley gets hit by pitch. Bases loaded, Prior and Persistent threatening — and then a couple of strikeouts end the inning. No runs. Frustration palpable.

Bottom of the 2nd

Pour gets going. Ballard triples. Kellogg gets hit by pitch. Ballard gets hit by pitch. Kellogg singles in a run — 1-0 Pour! Then in one of the most dramatic moments of the season, Patterson steps up and CLEARS THE BASES with a triple — three RBIs! Pour but Legal erupts for four runs in the second and they've got a 4-0 lead. Everyone has temporarily forgotten how cold and gloomy they are.

Top of the 3rd

Prior and Persistent files their answer.  Musgrave lofts a triple into the tree – our favorite natural obstacle in left field. Jones gets hit by pitch. Huffman doubles in a run — Prior is on the board! 4-1.

Bottom of the 3rd — Huffman pitching

Ballard walks. Kellogg walks. Patterson goes deep to right — and in an absolutely epic retaliatory move, Bilyeu reaches up and catches it.  Awkward, amazing and hilarious. Inning over.

Top of the 4th — Risley pitching

Jones singles. Risley triples in a run — Prior narrows the gap. 4-2. Then three strikeouts in a row end the inning just like that.

Bottom of the 4th

Kellogg to Musgrave — out. Ballard to Huffman — out. Piper singles. Ballard gets hit by pitch. Kellogg sends one up into the tree for a triple. Patterson hits to Huffman — out. Short half inning but it produces two more runs. Pour leads 6-2.

Top of the 5th

One hit by pitch and three strikeouts. Ballgame. This one would have been even more fun without the weather trying its best to ruin everything.

FINAL SCORE: Pour but Legal 6, Prior and Persistent 2

Pour but Legal wins their FIRST GAME IN FOUR SEASONS. Let that sink in. Four seasons. Rumor is they are ecstatic and they have every right to be. They earned it. Patterson's bases-clearing triple was the big blow. Bilyeu's one-handed catch is the defensive play of the night.

GAME TWELVE: Appealables vs. Motion to Strike

31st Circuit Judges vs. CoxHealth

A three-inning annihilation.

Batting Order

Appealables

• Phil Fuhrman
• Kaiti Greenwade
• Andy Hosmer
• Jason Brown (Wild Card / SMBA President)

Motion to Strike

• Danielle Reid
• Bryan Wade
• Charity Elmer
• Lauren Haskins
• Lindsey Franklin
• Abby Craigmyle

Top of the 1st — Abby Craigmyle pitching

Fuhrman walks. Greenwade doubles. Hosmer triples — two RBIs.  Boom. Then SMBA President/ Wildcard player Jason Brown steps in and strikes out. We'll judicially take notice that this is his first at-bat. Fuhrman walks again. Greenwade follows with a two-RBI triple. Hosmer then — and this is something — takes a few pitches left-handed, switches to his right hand mid-at-bat, and still manages to dump a double into the gap. Wade's palm gets in the way of nothing. Brown strikes out again. The team captain requests a sidebar with the Commissioner of Wiffle Ball: "do the rules allow us to give Brown back?" Denied. Four runs scored.

Bottom of the 1st — Fuhrman pitching

Reid hits to Hosmer — out. Wade gets hit by pitch. Approaching the plate with sincerity Charity Elmer asks if she can bat with her hands in her pockets. The answer, after a moment's consideration, is no. So she hits to Hosmer — out. Haskins hits to Hosmer — out. Three putouts for Hosmer. He’s on fire and the rest of us are freezing. No runs for Motion to Strike.

Top of the 2nd — Charity Elmer pitching (first career start)

Motion to Strike makes a bold pitching change — Charity Elmer takes the mound for the first time in her life. The Appealables are visibly, openly grateful for this development. Greenwade smacks a hit that deflects off Wade's palm — Reid scrambles but can't get there. Triple. Hosmer triples in a run. Brown hits a slightly redemptive single. Fuhrman walks. Greenwade then clears the bases with a triple. Hosmer hits to Elmer — out. Brown singles off the sawhorse. Fuhrman hits a two-run triple. Greenwade doubles. Hosmer triples in two more. Brown gets hit by pitch. Greenwade hits to Reid — out. Eight runs in the inning. The scoreboard is struggling to keep up.

Bottom of the 2nd — Fuhrman pitching

A couple of strikeouts. Reid triples — she's got some pop! Wade hits a high fly to Greenwade — out. No runs.

Top of the 3rd — Craigmyle pitching

Hosmer triples — Reid gives great effort but can't track it down. Fuhrman triples in a run. Greenwade hits to Craigmyle — out. Hosmer triples in another run. Brown triples in a run. Fuhrman doubles. Three more runs.  Thef Appealables are overruling Motion at every opportunity.

Bottom of the 3rd

Elmer hits to Hosmer — out. Haskins triples past Hosmer's attempted backslide catch — it's a tough play, it doesn't quite come off, and the stoic umpire who has been standing out here in the cold without expression for three full games... cracks a smile. Franklin hits to Greenwade — out. Craigmyle singles. No runs.

Mercy rule. Game called. Everyone is relieved except Reid.  Gotta love her love for the game.

FINAL SCORE: Appealables 15, Motion to Strike 0

The Judges shut out CoxHealth in a three-inning mercy rule game. Hosmer delivered triples, putouts, doubles, he was absolutely everywhere. Greenwade was equally locked in at the plate. Brown went one for two in his Wild Card appearance, which is a marked improvement over the first inning. Elmer's first career pitching start will be remembered fondly by everyone on the opposing team.

NIGHT THREE — FINAL WRAP

That's a wrap on Night Three of the 2026 SMBA Wiffle Ball Season. Four games, four winners, and a whole lot of cold fingers.

Here's what we'll remember:

• Stephen Tate is one to watch with single half-inning in Game Nine. Recruitment anyone?
• Luke Dainty hits the ONLY home run of the night in Game Ten, adding to what is already a demolition-level offensive performance by Gideon's Soldiers.
• Winton Neal may have poison ivy. Someone check on Winton Neal.
• Jill Patterson and Stacie Bilyeu.  Iconic.
• Pour but Legal wins their first game in FOUR SEASONS. We salute you.
• Andy Hosmer has secret, absurd skills.  
• Jason Brown strikes out twice as the Wild Card, hits a single, and keeps his presidency for the time being.
• The trees, shrubbery, and sawhorse played significant defensive roles across all four games and are not on any roster.

See you at Night Four. Dress warm.